Intruder

There once was a man called Perry. He lived an inconspicuous life in a sleepy little town called Wellford. It was a quiet town whose residents were as pleasant and friendly as anyone could imagine. Perry had only a handful of close friends, and yet, when he was out and about doing his weekend errands, everyone smiled and waved at him - even complete strangers.

During the week, Perry never strayed from his routine. He had a lovely, modest home from which he would leave each morning at precisely7:45 AM to arrive at work at 7:55 AM, five minutes early for his 8:00AM shift. Perry worked on an assembly line at the local cannery. His job was to ensure that all of the little blue labels were correctly placed on all of the cans of corn which passed him on the conveyer belt - all on straight with no rips or tears. He placed all of the cans with label errors in the large bin next to him. Perry was very good at spotting errors, and his bin was always fuller than the other label checkers.

Still, Perry’s job did not provide much opportunity for social interaction, other than brief pleasantries with those he passed on his way in and out of work each day. He sparsely knew what any of his co-workers even looked like outside of work, as their uniform on the line included hair nets, face masks, and oversized safety goggles. Perry was often quite lonely.

Every day, and especially on the loneliest days, Perry enjoyed arriving home at approximately 6:25 PM with an enthusiastic greeting from his trusty dog Spiffy. Perry would quickly change from his work clothes into something more comfortable and take Spiffy for a walk around the neighborhood, smiling and waving back pleasantly at each of the neighbors he passed along the way. Once Perry and Spiffy concluded their walk each evening, Perry would settle in at home, make himself dinner, watch his favorite evening television programs, take a bath, and read in bed until it was time to go to sleep.

This is how each day was for Perry until one day he awoke with a sneeze. He tried to say good morning to Spiffy, asleep at the end of the bed, but his voice was hoarse and his throat hurt. This was very unusual for Perry who hardly ever got sick. Once Perry accepted his fate, he reached for the phone and called in sick to work. At least he should have plenty of sick time available. After explaining to his boss that he would not be coming into work today, he hung up the phone and got out of bed. Perry made himself some tea in the kitchen, gathered a box of tissues and a book, and returned to bed.

It took a little while for Perry to adjust to both the hiccup in his routine and the symptoms of his illness. He slowly got settled in, Spiffy was once again cozied up at the end of the bed. Not such a bad morning after all, he thought to himself, right before something peculiar happened. Perry noticed the sound of a car getting closer and closer to his house before abruptly quieting as the motor was shut off. It must be a neighbor coming home from the night shift, he thought. He was about to take another sip of his tea when he heard footsteps and jingling keys growing louder, closer. Next he heard the keys being inserted into his own front door, the turn of the handle, and creek of the door slowly opening.

“Hello?” a voice called out, hesitantly.

It was an intruder. A seemingly non-threatening one, but an intruder non-the-less. Interestingly, Spiffy did not seem alarmed whatsoever. She continued to snooze at the end of the bed. Some guard dog.

Perry quietly got out of bed, grabbed an umbrella (the closest thing to a weapon he could find), nudged Spiffy awake, and gestured for her to follow. Perry crept down the hall, umbrella in hand and Spiffy in tow. He had just turned to check that Spiffy was still following when - SMACK - he felt himself bump right into someone.

They both screamed. When the shock of running into someone in his own home wore off, Perry and the intruder looked at each other and both screamed again. Perry took a couple of steps back to fully take in the most bizarre sight he has ever seen - himself, holding a large frying pan from the kitchen. Only it wasn’t himself, it was a stranger. A stranger who looked exactly like him.

After a few moments, Perry unfroze. He tried to speak, though it was painful as he had completely forgotten about his sore throat, not made better by all the screaming.

“Who are you?” the stranger asked first, seeming to be as confused at Perry was.

“Me? Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?” Perry replied defensively.

“Your house? I’m sorry but you are mistaken. You are in my house. I have lived here many years,” answered the stranger.

This whole event was very unsettling. It would have been easy for Perry to yell at this man to leave his home, to call the police if he didn’t, and to, at last resort, try to ward him off by swinging his umbrella at him (though the frying pan was an admittedly better weapon of choice). Yet Perry did not feel like doing any of those things, due mostly to the fact that this man bore an uncanny resemblance to himself. The tension was ever so slightly eased when Spiffy looked up at each of the men as if they were being dramatic and he could not fathom what all this yelling was about. Spiffy then turned his back to each of them and slunk back to her warm, cozy spot on the bed.

“I guess we have some figuring out to do,” the stranger said. He invited Perry to sit down and speak in the living room. The stranger made them both fresh tea and biscuits. It was strange being served in his own house, but since the adrenaline was wearing off and Perry was now feeling fatigued, he was grateful for it.

This man certainly did not his way around the kitchen, never having to check multiple cupboards or drawers to find what he needed. Spiffy was not alarmed by him either, a sign that this man’s presence in the home was not startling for her as it was for Perry.

The man served tea, and the two began to talk. They became more at ease with one another, but the scenario did not become any less bizarre. As it turned out, the man’s name was also Perry, though he went by his middle name Willy, short for William. Interestingly, this was also Perry’s middle name. The two explained their lives to each other and made sense of the situation to the best of their ability.

Willy worked the nightshift at the same warehouse as Perry. He would leave for work each day shortly before Perry came home, go to the gym, work through the night while Perry slept, and arrive home after Perry left for work. During the weekends Perry and Willy kept the same sleep schedule each of them had during the week, so Willy would be sleeping while Perry was off running his errands and vice versa. They had each been residing in the same house for years without ever noticing. They each meticulously kept things in their proper place, so things were never out of order. The both took very good care of Spiffy, as they each considered her to be their dog.

Hours passed, and the biscuit tin emptied. Perry and Willy still would not figure out how their lived had overlapped, or how long this had been going on. All they could figure out was they both lived a very routine lifestyle for a long time, and their lives seamlessly overlapped with one another in the same household. If Perry hadn’t become sick, they may not have found out about one another for many years.

The most important thing Perry and Willy had to figure out now was how to continue with their lives from her on out. It was decided that not much was needed to change to make things work. They could continue to live in the same house with the same dog and lead separate lives. They had already grown quite fond of one another though, so they did make one change. Perry started getting home from work a little earlier, and Willy started leaving for work a little later. They would utilize this time together to walk Spiffy each day.

More than a few heads turned the first several walks they took together. Eventually people got used to seeing them together, and the usual smiles and waves returned. Perry and Willy treasured this time together (as did Spiffy), and they took the opportunity to learn about each of the ways theirs lives were similar and different. They never did figure out the mystery of how their very peculiar situation came to be, but after a while it didn’t matter. All that mattered now was that they had each other, and neither of them felt lonely any more.